Safe Space

Today, I added this sign to my office door at school, and it was a morning I know I will never forget.

For those who don't know, this sign is a symbol to students, staff, and families that anything can be discussed in my office confidentially*, including issues of sexual (or "romantic") orientation. More specifically, it sends a message that those who identify as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual , transgender, or questioning, that they may speak freely in my office, without judgment.

In a school district as left-leaning as Montgomery County, you would think that posting this sign would be no big deal. And yet, it is. There have been law suits and battles between parents and school administrators as to whether these conversations have a place in public school. The community where I work is home to people with deeply traditional values and the topic of homosexuality isn't discussed openly, among anyone. In other parts of my school district, conversations about civil rights and marriage equality would be no big deal, but my school community just hasn't gotten there yet. 

Despite all of this, when I asked my principal for permission to post these signs in the counseling office, she quickly agreed that it would be a good idea, in her tough, no-nonsense way. This is a woman who is fully aware of potential parent backlash, law suits, grief from central office about keeping the peace, and she said yes anyway. She knew it was the right thing to do. It was a proud moment.

Without going into too much detail, I felt it was important to post this sign for the sake of serving ALL of my students. I also wanted to post it for the staff who are vigilant about keeping their private life separate from work. One staff member I know has been one of the best teachers in our school for more than 15 years; hardworking, reliable, and a favorite (despite being strict) amongst students.  Never in that time has she ever talked about her family with the ease that I have in my small 4 years of being in the county. People always ask about my husband, my daughter, our plans for the holiday. No one ever asks her these questions nor would she ever want them to out of fear of what being open could do to her career. She, and others, live and work in fear and it's just "normal". This is just not fair.

 For me to (ever-so-slightly) stick my neck out on this issue costs little compared to what it could cost others if they did the same. I worry about alienating staff who disagree with me, and wonder if they'll treat me differently. I value these relationships as these teachers are good at what they do, and hope that they'll keep an open mind.

So why am I posting this sign now, with the end of the school year quickly approaching? Well, in all honesty, we knew that if we waited, our administration would be less likely to say yes, given all the stressors that come in the fall. We didn't want a fight; we just wanted the signs up. So yeah, we slipped this in at the 11th  hour, and hopefully, this sign will be on our doors to stay.

*The only time I have to break confidentiality is if someone reports they're planning to harm themselves or someone else, or that they or someone else has been or will be in danger. Therefore, there's a lot I keep confidential.