The Talk

It was time again to have "the Talk"; this time, with Margot.

 With so many changes ahead, we thought it was time to sit down and have a discussion with Margot about being a big sister, and that, in fact, she will not be the only child in the house any more.

She seemed to take it well, though there were lots of long pauses and awkward silences. There were also a few requests to go "outside" and eat goldfish. We're afraid she's not taking this transition seriously. 

 Afterwards, she made a few calls on her cell phone, (mostly to her Sesame Street crew,) and had to put her head down to really take in the breadth of what we'd talked about.

We'll see how it goes.

All Over Again

Yesterday, I received a lot of love from

my mom and mother-in-law.

 

My mom called after dinner and we had a long, and familiar, conversation where she recounted the weeks and days leading up to my birth. We talked about how much mystery there was when I was born and how today, I know so much about the little guy in my belly, even though we have yet to "meet".  She had heard my heartbeat and seen a fuzzy sonogram before I was born, while I've seen my child's hands, feet, a 3D image of his face, watched him practice breathing, and even seen his aorta (it looks like a candy cane). My mom also talked about what it was like to expect to have a baby in her arms by Thanksgiving, but not actually meet me until January 5th. Things have changed! 

 

We've had this same conversation before, (including how she watched Magnum PI before waking my dad and dropping my sister at the neighbors when it was time to go to the hospital), but as I get closer and closer to my due date, it is comforting to talk about some of my fears and hear her story, knowing that everything turned out ok.

 

Earlier in the day, Tucker's mom Judy sent me the blessing below.

 

FOR A MOTHER-TO-BE

Nothing could have prepared

Your heart to open like this.

 

From beyond the skies and the stars

This echo arrived inside you

And started to pulse with life,

Each beat a tiny act of growth,

Traversing all our ancient shapes

On its way home to itself.

 

Once it began you were no longer your own.

A new, more courageous you, offering itself

In a new way to a presence you can sense

But you have not seen or known.

 

It has made you feel alone

In a way you never knew before;

Everyone else sees only from the outside

What you feel and feed

With every fiber of your being.

 

Never have you traveled farther inward

Where words and thoughts become half-light

Unable to reach the fund of brightness

Strengthening inside the night of your womb.

 

Like some primeval moon,

Your soul brightens

The tides of essence

That flow to your child.

 

You know your life has changed forever,

For in all the days and years to come,

Distance will never be able to cut you off

From the one you now carry

For nine months under your heart.

 

May you be blessed with quiet confidence

That destiny will guide you and mind you.

May the emerging spirit of your child

Imbibe encouragement and joy

From the continuous music of your heart,

So that it can grow with ease

Expectant of wonder and welcome

When its form is fully filled.

 

And it makes its journey out

To see you and settle at last

Relieved, and glad in your arms.

What is ahead of me, I've done before, my mom, mother-in-law, and women everywhere have done before...and yet, it's still such a sacred and beautiful thing. I feel fortunate to have such loving support as I walk the path of meeting my son!

Margot Month

In honor of Margot Month, I thought I'd post some pictures of our young lady.

 

 She is a very busy girl these days. Running, climbing (which she insists on doing independently), carrying things around, and generally exploring everything around her.

At 20 months, it's very important that she do things herself and on her terms. She will tell you when she wants to be carried and when she wants to go outside, inside, upstairs, wherever...

 She will also tell you when she wants to eat and exactly WHAT she wants to eat. We have her fooled into thinking that the squeezable food pouches are a treat so she gets excited about 4 bean medley, quinoa, greek yogurt, spinach and squah mixtures.

  She loves pulling out books and settling into a lap for some reading. She does lots of pointing, imitates sounds of animals, and can sometimes anticipate what comes next in a story.

Waking up from her nap is her toughest time of day, around 3:30-4:00pm. She needs to ease back into activities at her own pace and LOVES to snuggle when she first gets up.

When Lock and Holly came over, she showed off her teeth brushing (or rather toothpaste eating) skills.

Her new bedroom is on the main floor and has windows that look onto the deck. As we were sitting outside with our friends, she thought it was hilarious to watch us from her crib.

 

 A new park opened up in our neighborhood which has been wonderful. Poor Margot has the fanatical mom who fully clothes her to play in the water. I promise I will draw the line at WholesomeWear. 

 Our girl has been interested in the potty lately and charmingly announces the events taking place in her diaper on a regular basis. Maybe we'll start thinking about potty training?

 I found this pic the other day and couldn't believe how little she was! She was about 12 weeks here. Time flies!

38th Week

Until this morning, I had a very witty blogpost prepared which was all about the challenges faced in the final weeks of pregnancy. It was a little sarcastic with complaints you've probably heard before. I talked about the ridiculous comments people make to pregnant women and how this commentary was getting under my skin.

Then, something happened over the weekend which changed my mind about posting it. A co-worker of mine, at the beginning of her third trimester, lost her baby. She drove herself, alone, to the hospital to endure the worst news of her life.  

 

As I was trying to make sense of it all and understand what this will mean for her, I realized that listening to comments about my growing belly really is a privilege. Is this phase all that "difficult" for me? I'm pretty sure I can manage the

well-meaning (even if annoying) comments that people are making. And soon, all of this will be forgotten and replaced by the experience of being a mom for the second time.

 

My co-worker's loss reminds me of how deep down, I've been acutely concious of surpassing the all-important 37th week. For some women, the experience of pregnancy can be unnerving...the kind of thing where "you don't know, until you know" that everything will be ok. That's been true for me, too.

 

I texted my sister this morning and asked her to pray for my friend. No matter what you believe or don't believe, I think her words make sense and are comforting.

 

Here's what Sarah wrote back to me:

"I am praying, and will continue to. These 2 verses are more for you than for her. 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.' (Matthew 4:4 NLT)

'Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.' (Romans 12:15 NIV)

You've been in a difficult place before, losing a baby. Mourn with her if you can. Pray for her. Send her a note or visit, whatever God puts in your heart to do. People in mourning need space, but also to know they are not alone. I love you sis!'