Trials of A New Mom

Since sleep deprivation settled into our lives a few weeks ago, I've been preoccupied with finding a glimmer of hope for my (and Tucker's) sleeping future. I've talked with some close friends and all the moms I know about when their kids started sleeping through the night. I wanted to crack the code on how to make this 'miracle' happen. Knowing Margot is still too little, all of this research was being saved for that magical 3 month mark when the AAP deems it safe to start weening your little one off of the middle-of-the-night feeding. I've looked at calendars, counted weeks and days, and even prepped myself for the sleep training technique we might actually use.

Then a night like last night came along. We had a busy day with Margot, visiting with friends and neighbors. She ate like a champ and kept her bright eyes open just about all afternoon/evening. After our friends left, Tucker swaddled little M in her bassinett with a full belly and she fell asleep around 9pm.

I settled into bed with my usual expectation of getting back up in 2-3 hours. To my surprise, Margot had other plans. Sleeping beauty snoozed herself all the way to 4:15am without barely a peep! Instead of enjoying this quiet time, I scanned the monitor hourly (at least) and had nightmares that she wasn't breathing. I worried, and worried, and waited for her to wake up. When she finally did, I was at the ready and wide awake, instead of my usual groggy, awake-only-two-hours-ago self. Almost as abruptly as she had woken up, she drifted back to sleep with a full belly, content to nod off until daylight.

All this led me to think about the many opportunities I'll have in the days, weeks, months and years ahead to worry about my little girl. Right now, keeping her precious little body well-fed, dry, clean, and warm is literally what keeps me up at night. I have a feeling that on the worrying scale, this is only the tip of the iceburg.

It's a good thing parenthood is gradual process that unfolds itself in stages. I have a lot to learn, a lot to let go of, and many greater challenges ahead, I'm sure. Let's hope my sweet girl doesn't mind putting up with me and that I toughen up sooner than later. Parenthood is not for the weak at heart:)